is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
