I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
