Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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