We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
foreskin is a definite game changer
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
