Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
