I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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