theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
