It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize