she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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