Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
