But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I could fuck to npr.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
