I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
