to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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