I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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