i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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