is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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