i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
