THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
