So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize