I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
