I love black thongs
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
