she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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