Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
