you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
