I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize