the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
