I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
