Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
