I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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