Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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