I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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