I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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