That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
