Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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