I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
