I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
