i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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