Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
