I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
