i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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