finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
