ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
