If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
