GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
