Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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