Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
