I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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