I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
