I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
