real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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