what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
