So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
