Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize