mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize