winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
