i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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